“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”
― Walter Anderson
In sport there is winning and there is losing. Tie’s shouldn’t exist and I think we will all agree with that. The reason you compete isn’t to “see what you are capable” or ” to have fun”. The reason anyone competes is to see who is better or best at what is being tested, period. If you “think” you are competing for another reason, you are lying to yourself and probably being lied to. Sorry if this seems harsh or direct, but that is how I am when it comes to competing. Can fun be had in competing? Of course! Should fun be had? Yes! But it isn’t fun to lose, and if anyone tells you that “it doesn’t matter” when they lose then they shouldn’t have showed up to compete in the first place. I’m a passionate man, not outwardly emotional (I apologize to my Wife for it regularly don’t worry, I’m learning) but passionate. So when I go into training and focusing on a task at hand like qualifying for the CrossFit Games I put my all into it. I know of no other degree of preparation. I have never been the most talented athlete in any given sport I’ve been blessed to play but I have always been drawn to the grind of preparation. From the time of my childhood I would do push ups and sit ups in my room in secret to improve how I could perform in the weight room or on the field against my peers. I actually would not tell anyone or try to let anyone know this was taking place, I didn’t need them to know about the work I did, I wanted it to show in my ability to compete. When I found CrossFit I respected the sport so much for its honesty. When you give all you can and prepare well, there is no one to blame but you. There is no one to point a finger of blame at, no questions to ask or external variables…..just you handling business and stepping up…..or not.
This past weekend I competed at the South Regional and finished 7th overall. Internally upset, devastated, disappointed. At first I wanted to yell, punch one of the celebratory athletes that qualified in the face ( I will spare you his name, that is definitely a sinful reaction on my part not proud) and then moments later as I walked to the back of the arena I wanted to cry. Sometimes I don’t get sad for myself but for those who so whole heartedly support me. Something that provided me with great motivation as a young boy was to see how proud and happy it made my parents when I did well in sports or even in school. I was hooked to this sensation, making people proud. Seeing my Dad’s reaction to my first touchdown, my Mom’s reaction to me scoring multiple goals in soccer games….these are things that I can vividly remember and even still physically feel a response to today. So when I lose, don’t do well or under perform I can’t help but think about my brothers and sister, parents, Ash and even friends and sponsors of who I may be letting down. Don’t get me wrong, what I do is selfish and still very internally motivated. This sport itself is very selfish, the hours of training, the not eating the same dinner as your spouse or not going out to eat with friends and family NUTRITION, and also needing to be in bed and take ice baths and hot baths and schedule massages. Doing well at this sport takes a toll on those around in not always a positive way. But you still get the idea……it ate me up.
Due to my lack of open emotions many people would and will assume I was always fine after placing 7th this year, and honestly that is probably for the best. But there are moments of struggle and disappointment to say the least. I didn’t write all of this to talk about that though. I wanted to share a few feelings on being disappointed and how it is something we all feel from time to time. Some of us experience this a few times a year, monthly, weekly and when times are really hard and trying some face feeling like this daily. And like the quote above, we all know bad things, and losses are a part of life. It is never going to be those things that define us or who we are, and not even the momentary set back or emotional train wreck we may be in the short time after, but how we respond with our life that will define us. CrossFit for me is a sport, it is what I do and happens to be how I pay my bills, it is far from who I am. I think something that is often overlooked in life is us examining what we find our identity in. Who am I? Who are you? Men and women tend to find identity in their jobs, their spouses, their houses, their incomes now days. All of those things that can be fleeting. Make sure we are all building character and a foundation of traits that will leave a legacy much bigger than what you do, or how much you make. Love people, help them, nurture them, teach them……..those things people never forget.
As for 2017…..I already have bad intentions for the South regional. I plan to win it all and I will shortly begin preparation for that feat. Next year it could be as an individual but I’d really love to do it with a team from Wasatch CrossFit. Thanks to you guys for the great base of support you provide and such a great community you’ve been to have all our backs that just came back from the competition. Here is to the beginning of one fun summer!
:30 on/:30 to rotate at each. Cycle through 7 rounds!
Power clean (135/95)
Box jump over (no touch)
Chin up (kip allowed)